When Hello Means Goodbye

Today Agnes gave birth.

She came to Shiphrah last Monday, her due date, because she was going to surrender her baby after he's born and needed a place to stay. She lived in a small house behind the birth center and became a friendly, smiley daily presence. I liked her a lot.

Jeri told me the reason Agnes was probably going a week overdue was because while the baby is still inside her, it's Agnes' baby. We are by no means trying to pressure her to surrender her baby. It is Agnes' choice.

This morning, Ate Lyds smiled at me and said, "I think we've got another lady in labor."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Yes, Agnes."

We checked Agnes an hour later and found out she was fully dilated and the baby was -1 station (-1 station means it's above the pubic bone, 0 means it's at the pubic bone, then there's +1, +2, +3, and baby out).

There was much excitement since everyone knew and liked Agnes at that point. I was next up to catch and Ate Lyds was the midwife. Then, because Agnes doesn't have a husband, Ate Helen enthusiastically danced into the room laughing, "I'll be the tatay (father) and the osawa (spouse)!" (Normally the dad sits behind the mom and supports her while the baby's born, so that's what Ate Helen was offering to do. Except of course, this is Ate Helen we are talking about, so of course she had to have fun with it. :-D)

We waited for the baby to drop a little bit before she started pushing. When she did start pushing, her fingernails started turning blue, her hands started cramping, she started sweating profusely, and she clocked out on us. The midwives and Ate Helen started oxygen and massaged her hands. Because they were talking very fast in Tagalog, I wasn't able to understand what was going on, but Deborah, Jeri's daughter who is also a midwife, told me it was probably from emotions.

The baby was finally born after what felt like a while and I wasn't sure whether to hand him to Agnes or to hold him myself, because he was going to be surrendered. However, Ate Lyds told me to hand the baby to Agnes. Except, she didn't take the baby. So I put my hand on the baby's bum to keep him from falling between her legs again, while we waited for the placenta.

After the cord was clamped and cut, Deborah cleaned off the baby and dressed him. Then she brought him back to Agnes and asked if she wanted to breastfeed him.

She said no.

So Deborah took the baby out of the room and took him to her house where she fed him some formula.

Agnes seemed very calm on the outside during the whole thing, but when I went to check on her a few minutes ago, she was crying.

My heart is breaking for this mom and her newborn who will never know the love of his birth mom. I wish I could do something but there's nothing I can do but pray. And I have been praying.

Please keep Agnes and her baby in your prayers.

Thank you!