I guess that's why it's called *growing* up...

Lately, I've really become aware of my (very many) mistakes. It's not even funny how often I have messed up lately.

Because I've been "on my own" and not had mom right behind me every step of the way to keep me in line, I've really had to learn to take responsibility for myself and my actions. I have no one to blame them on but me.

I've been feeling really down about it these last 2-3 weeks and today God gave me a revelation.

I am not perfect.

I will make mistakes every day until I die. I will make a fool of myself every stinkin' day until I die. I will have regrets for every day of my life. But you know what? Jesus died for me. For me! There's a reason I needed to be saved - because I need serious help. Seriously. Every single day. Because He died to save me and forgive my sins and mistakes, I am allowed to learn from them and move on. I still need to confess them to Jesus and ask His forgiveness but then He doesn't want me to dwell on how badly I messed up. He wants me to press onward and learn the lessons He has for me each and every day of my life. Someday I'll be perfect and not make any more mistakes - that will be when I die and I hope I'm not there just yet...

But anyway, as I was doing my daily devotions and whining to God that I'm tired of making mistakes and asking Him to help me be more Christ-like, I read psalm 94:19 "when the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul." I felt like God was saying, "relax, girl. You are going to do this every day of your life. Feel sorry for your mistake, learn from it, and move on! You already asked my forgiveness and I forgave you so I don't even think about what you did wrong. Just move on and grow." it was very refreshing.

One funny thing about this: I was writing this in my journal (well, not this exactly but very similar) and I looked over the page when I had finished and realized I spelled "mistakes" wrong ever single time without realizing it. Each time I wrote "mistakes," it came out as "miskakes." Lol. Oh well. Live and learn. :-)